My head is stuck in a strange place today. In the last thirteen months my life has taken quite a few big twists. Each one has scared the crap out of me and each one has taken me to a better place in my life. Most days I can see that it's all worth it.
Today I need to find a way to remind myself that there is good ahead. I don't know if it's a Rainy Day and Monday sort of thing, or just that I am overtired and wondering if the ability to turn the bad into good has been all used up and I am going to have to deal with that moving forward. All I know is that I'm focusing on everything that isn't working for me today and feel like a curtain has been drawn over the light at the end of the tunnel.
I know for a fact that this is not a feeling that is unique to me. I know that - especially for people who venture out on their own and put themselves out there - self-doubt is something that must occaisionally be battled. I've worked with enough authors to know that it hits even the best (the stories I could tell about some of your favorite authors deleting whole manuscripts because they think they're crap, or missing deadlines as they struggle to believe that what they have written is worthy to be sent in).
I'd like to tell you that this is going to be a well written piece on how to overcome these feelings, alas, I am stuck in the midst of it right now and am having trouble believing I will overcome at this precise moment. So instead I will tell you that I'm going to pour myself a glass of wine, I'm going to watch some guilty pleasure reality television and I'm going to bed tonight with my mother's voice in my head, "This too shall pass."